Until the Day I Die
by mitchellsunf
Summary: Post Mockingjay rebellion - During the time Peeta and Katniss grow back together and all the problems they faced before the end.


I was running. Running from the mutts again in the arena. This time Peeta's not here with me, I can't find him. I have no time to linger on the thought because suddenly I'm trapped by an invisible wall. Force field. I should have seen it coming. A growl forces me to turn around. I'm face to face with the mutts now. That's when I realize their not just mutts. I see Rue's eyes staring back at me. Next to her, I see Finnick's sea green eyes. It doesn't end there…Cinna… Madge…Boggs…Mags…and worst of all Prim. "No," I whisper as I stare back at the mutt. _It can't be._ _Not Prim. They can't have her. _I think as tears well in my eyes. I can barely get the scream out before they simultaneously launch themselves at me.

I shoot up from my bed, panting heavily. I look around to assure myself of my soundings. A look outside my window tells me it must be sometime in the afternoon. With a sigh I slowly get out of bed. As I walk by the mirror in my room I stop. I turn to face myself in the mirror. All I see is a broken girl staring back at me. Covered in scars on both the outside and inside. _My name is Katniss Everdeen. And it doesn't matter anymore. _I won the 74th Hunger Games. I survived the Quarter Quell. I became the Mockingjay for the rebels against the Capital. Our side overthrew the Capital. President Snow is dead. I killed President Coin. I can breathe easier knowing that the world is safer.

But at what cost?

My sister is dead. My grief-stricken mother has abandoned me…again. My former best friend, Gale has left. Many of my friends are dead. And Peeta…the Peeta I knew has been gone ever since I was rescued from the Quell. The Capital took him and turned him against me. They made him the one last weapon against me. Since the war ended he had gotten much better, but he will never be the same again. Well, none of us will.

I sigh as I walk away from the mirror and out of my room. I walk around my now empty house to the kitchen. When I arrive I find food already on my table from Greasy Sae. She has been checking up on me every since I arrived back in 12. She makes me food, and tries to strike up conversation. She smiles at me gently as she enters the room. "Finally awake I see." I give the smallest of nods before sitting down. I stare at the food in front of me, not feeling hungry, not feeling really…anything. She eyes me for another moment. "You should eat up."

Without resisting I scoop a few things onto my plate for show. I turn back to her. "You really don't need to sit here and baby sit me." A little annoyance drips from my voice so I try to make light of the conversation. "That's what they sent Haymitch for." Oh yeah, my old, drunken mentor who I haven't seen in over a week. The last time I saw him lasted for only a minute, but I could tell that he was making up for lost time for being sober in 13 for all that time.

"No bother, child. I don't have much to do with my days anyway." Sae sends me a look that means 'it's final' so I turn to nibble on some of the food. "When was the last time you saw the old grouch?"

I shrug, trying to belittle the situation. "Not too long ago."

She nods, "And Peeta?"

My shoulders tense at the mention of his name. I struggle to remain impassive as I answer, "Not since he planted the primroses." The name hurt coming from my lips. It reminded me of all I've lost.

"They're blooming beautifully. Did you thank him?"

"Yes," I lied, looking back down. "I-I'm not feeling that well. I'm gonna go lay back down."

"Okay, I'm going to check on Sally. I'll bring her for dinner." I nodded again before turning away to start off to my room. I already dreaded sitting here for dinner. Sae's granddaughter, Sally, was around six and reminded me of Prim in her young years. She was playful and radiant and everyone lover her. It was hard not to compare her to Prim. Only when I lie back down, I notice the moisture on my cheeks. I hadn't even realized I was crying. But it's not the least bit shocking. Crying seems to be the only thing I remember how to do. I lie for minutes, or maybe hours before drifting back off to face my nightmares.

A few hours later, I hear my name being called. I glance toward the window to find that it's night. When my name is called again, I want nothing more than to go hide in my closet away from the world. Reluctantly, I make my way back to the kitchen and sit at the table. I hardly notice the voices in back of me until I hear it. _Him. _"What are your favorite type of cake?"

"Chocolate!" An excited Sally responds as she gives a few hops. I slowly and cautiously turn to face them. He laughs at the little girl's reaction and it sounds genuine. For a moment I am hit by a wave of bitterness. How could he still laugh after everything he's been through? After everything _we've_ been through.

His eyes find my gaze and he gives another grin. "Hey Katniss, how are you?"

I resist the urge to tell him just how much of a stupid question that is and reply, "Fine," He looks at me unconvinced. "And you?"

He frowns at my formal tone, but answers regardless. "Okay, I guess. It'd be better if I had more people to talk to." His message could not be more clearer. It also couldn't have hurt more. He was telling me that he misses me. The silence between us gets awkward until he speaks. "I've started baking again."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean it's been awhile since I've baked and I want to continue my family's work." He says softly.

My eyes start to tear again as I remember his last baking job at Annie and Finnick's wedding. I quickly recover and look away from him. "That's great Peeta."

"You're probably wondering what I'm doing here." I was but I wasn't going to ask. "I stopped by to give Greasy Sae some of the bread I baked this morning and she invited me." He looked uncomfortable, "Do you…want me to go?" He asked timidly, as if afraid of the answer.

Yes, I think. I wanted to be alone. I deserved to be alone. But I couldn't bring myself to say the words. "No," I answer shortly. His grin returns as he stares back at me.

"Can you really make cakes?" A high pitched voice chimes in.

Peeta turned back to Sally and smiled. "Yes, I can but I only make them for good little girls."

She beams at his response. "I'm a good girl."

He laughs again, "I bet you are."

Sae comes in carrying the food and declines when both me and Peeta offer our help. We all eat in silence I try to avoid all the stares Peeta and Sae throw me. Halfway through the meal Greasy Sae excuses herself and Sally to go home. I glare at her once I realize that she's leaving me alone with Peeta. She only smiles and says her goodbyes as she closes the door.

I feel his eyes on me and I turn to look back at him. "You had lots of nightmares, real or not real?"

I'm a little taken aback by his sudden question. "Real,"

"You still have them?" He points to my eyes, "You're getting bags."

I look closer at his face to discover the same dark spots under his eyes. "Yes, and you do too?"

He looks deep in thought. "Every night," He pauses as if debating something. "We used to sleep together to help with the nightmares."

It's not a question, but I find myself nodding. "It was the only thing that helped."

He looks like he wants to say something but then stops. After a beat he speaks up again, "It did for me too I think." He glances at the clock. "I should be going. Baking is not easy." He says, trying to break the tension. He steps closer to me, and fight the urge to pull back as he touches my shoulder. "I'll see you later, Katniss."

"Bye." I whisper as he turns towards the door. I lock up the house and once again make my way to my all familiar bed. This night I know there will be nightmares but not of bombs and lost children, but of the boy with the bread and the guilt and sadness I feel around him.

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><p><strong>AN: **So hello! I'm new to THG fan fiction writing, but love the book. Please review to tell me how this chapter went and if I should continue.

**A/N 2: **The story is named after the song "Until the Day I Die" by Story of the Year and there could not be a more perfect Everlark song. I will post to my profile.


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